Live for

He told me that I think to much...
maybe I do (?

He asked, "what is the point in life?"
what could I reply? living for someone else?
that's too... (whats that word im looking for?)
Overrated...

Live for yourself
Life for another day

Sure, not everyone will ever have all those amazing life experiences
I doubt I would ever climb a mountain or scream at the top of my lungs in the middle of the desert...

But, after a while, you start appreciating every little thing in life.

Look, the rainy day, don't you love it?

So what do you live for?
What do I live for?

It's one of those questions that you don't have an answer
all I can do is smile...

It's like asking "why do you love him/her?"
and my answer? I just smile
there's no answer
there's a billion different answers




I live for a better tomorrow
for a day I can be strong and depend solely on myself.

I live for the morning after a crazy night,
and see him sleeping right next to me.

Whoever "He" might be...

I live for the day, when I'll know that I'm not alone

but for now...
I'll just keep on waiting...

Blind

Sometimes, we hurt each other without noticing it
We're blinded, blinded by our own feelings...
Sometime's, we're blinded by a feeling we tend to call "love"
or blinded by "hate"

In the end, we're just blind, we're unable to see the truth...
until someone hurts us, until we're exposed to that storm that we have avoided all along

and then what?
it hurts, it hurts so much
but there's nothing we can do...

Try to mend a broken heart?
a broken friendship?
a white lie?

what is there to mend?
if it was meant to help us realize the truth...

Live

Live
Live for something
Live for someone
Live for yourself
Don't let anyone get to you
Don't let anyone push you down
Don't ever give up
Don't ever give in...

I know this world is harsh and cruel

I know you feel like giving up 

I've been in that train for several years

and now it's time for me to stop at this station

Life is not easy

It's painful

It's horrible

it can be so cruel

but it's worth it

Because Life Is Beautiful

-Rest In Peace Young Soul

"When you're a kid, they tell you it's all "grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid, and that's it."... But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that... It's so much darker... And so much madder... And so much better"

And while everyone celebrates their freedom
I crawl under the bridge, hiding from the light
crying in agony...

missing you...

Etcetera

I'm looking for it
I'm wishing for it, etcetera
I understand that we can't go back
But at the very least, it's my freedom to wish for it, right?

Please, someone

Anyone, give me an answer...

I know what I want

And this is not it...

Useless

Useless... that's what I am

Or so it seems...

Wondering...

Sometimes I wonder...
who would I be if I never left?
Would I still be that naive girl that I was back then?
would I know the difference between truth and lies, dreams and reality...?
Would I still be watching that beautiful sunset while I hold that pencil, writing poems and prophecies...?
Would I be strong?
Or weak?

Would I be left forever alone?
Or was there any opportunity of that childish love to be able to bloom...?
Would I keep writing?
Would I still be trapped in a world of dreams and illusions?

Would I still cry under the starless night?
Would I pray to god every time I saw that beautiful blue sky...?

Sometimes I wonder...
what could have happened if I said 'no'
Would I end up loosing my mind?
was it already written somewhere that I had to end up being like this?

Would I be brave enough to stand up for my self?
Or would I still be that little shy girl...?

Would I be able to carry the burden and pain of her for the rest of my life?
Would I lose her?

Who would I be if I never left...?

I miss them...

And I thought that I couldn't lose nothing...

Guess I was wrong.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I just want to go back
to whom I was
who I used to be...

Sometimes I want to go back
to that eternal lonely light...

I want to see that blue sky once again...

I want to hear their voices again...

Sometimes I wonder...
who would I be if I never left...?

Song...

Everything started with a song...

Fascinating!

The way you are
boy I like the way you walk
the way you talk
your eyes
your smile
your scent
it's just... fascinating!

is it love...?

Tell me

"Don't know what to think or do

My mind's spinning because of you

Tell me what is right and what is wrong"

...

"If it's not jealousy and distrust then it's just the inevitable separation that occurs..."

I'ts like I'm 14 again...
all alone left in the dark
crying 'till dawn...

Before the Dawn...

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none

-William Shakespeare

I hate this love song
I hate this love song
I hate this love song 
I hate this love song 
I hate this love song 




I love you, my love...

Wounds

These wounds are nothing for me.

"Life keeps moving on, whether you like it or not"

Beyond...

This is not your home, not your world,
Not the place where you should be.
And you understand, deep in your heart,
"Though you didn't want to believe."
Now you feel so lost in the crowd
Wondering if this is all,
If there's something beyond.

Beyond these people, beyond this noise,
Beyond night and day, beyond heaven and hell.
Beyond you and me.
Just let it be,
Just take my hand and come with me,
Come with me...

And run, fly away, don't look back,
"They don't understand you at all,

They left you alone in the dark
Where nobody could see your light."
Do you dare to cross the door?
Do you dare to come with me
To the place where we belong?

Beyond these people, beyond this noise,
Beyond night and day, beyond heaven and hell.
Beyond this smoke, beyond this planet,
Beyond lies and truths, beyond life and death.
Beyond you and me.
Just let it be,

"Just take my hand and come with me,
Come with me..."

[No]

Can't you see.?

I'm still loving you...

Still my heart cannot let go of you

(say no)

Say that it can't be

that in your heart you're still waiting for me

that you'll wait for me...

(say no)

Because of you I still can't find sleep

Oh can't you see I'm still loving you...

Sitting on the edge of my bed
Wondering where you are
Wondering when will my questions will be answered...

And once midnight strikes 
The spell will be broken
and a river of tears will flow in my heart

So far away yet...
So close...

"I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken-dreams"

And his words would come to my mind "en fin..."

theres nothing I can do about it

I'm loosing control of my emotions

of my thoughts, my actions

I guess I am somewhat like my father...

hatred running through my veins

I'm loosing control of everything...

[I want to kill them, strangle them to death and see their blood in my hands...

just a sudden rush of hatred...]

Until his voice brings me be back to reality...

And again I melt under his lips

Love&Hate...

...Sono solo uno scrittore inutile

"But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathe, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning." 

-Haruki Murakami

"Fly away, for another day"

Memories...

"Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart." 

— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

"If you're in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark."

Sacrifices

 you cannot change what is already there and who he already is, my friend.

You cannot change the situation, so don't get frustrated about it.

Learn to move on, learn to deal with this as an adult,

learn to take this as an obstacle and overcome it like a rational adult would.

Learn to keep your personal life private; that way, whatever you have between you and him are SOLELY for you and him.

Learn that you need not always tell the whole world everything, there's no need to report whatever you have done with him in public.

If you are not in a position to make changes,

then learn to make the best out of them.

Have patience, have rationality, have selflessness,

all in the name of love.

Believe me, I stood there in your shoes.

And believe me, any relationship is nothing without sacrifices.

Sacrifices make a relationship all the more worth it.

Sacrifices are what made us today.

You will not learn about someone and yourself without sacrificing something.

You will not see what's right or wrong without sacrificing something.

And above all, you cannot love someone properly without sacrificing something.

It's not going to be easy,

hell, it will be the most difficult thing to do (other than going into labour).

But I will tell you one other thing, it will be worth every tear you have shed and every second you have waited.

And you will find a light that will help you through the darkness.

- Haruki Murakami

Storm

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

An you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about." 

-Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

"Doubt thou the stars are fire,

Doubt that the sun doth move,

Doubt truth to be a liar,

But never doubt I love."

"When I was still in love with God..."

When will the nightmares end?
When will the tears dry up?
When will the fights end?

I don't want to wait...

I want to fight

This is my battle

I'll stand up against the endless rain

and when the time comes... I'll spread my wings

It's my battle

It's my life

It's my Destiny...

Lying to myself doesn't help at all...

chanting "it's going to be ok"

Waiting for a miracle...

"It's because that we are alone that we are able to love"

...

And the only person I can trust lives a thousand miles away from me...

Why...?

Why did I ended up falling in love with you...?

Tired...?

And I got tired of waiting
of pretending...

Tired of smiling

crying...

Tired of everything...?

[I'm so tired of myself...]

My problems are nothing compared to those whom starve to death

Nothing compared to those who have lost they're loved ones

Nothing compared to those who lay between life and death

My problems are nothing compared to what others are going through...

I'm useless...

I'll keep on walking 

keep crying 

pretending

smiling...

I'll keep living

In the end it's worth it

because I have what others lack

and I should be grateful for it...

We should be grateful for what we have

food, shelter, family, friends...

love

We should be grateful

yet we don't act like it

I don't act like it...

I should stop being a fool

I should smile... at least for them...

"Pregare per loro"

Simple & Wonderful

Laying in bed
talking to her
Smiling & laughing

Life can be so simple and wonderful sometimes...

[Until the Nightmare starts]

But for once I just want to be happy

And hold on to those whom I truly love...

I just want to forget everything and have fun

I just want to be free

Spread my wings

And fly with my angel...

My Precious...

I'ts been a long time
And the only thing I'm sure of is that I love him more and more as the days pass by...

My tiny little wish came true

I'm able to be with him

I'm able to love him...

"I can't say I'm afraid of falling in love

because I'm already in love..."

Shy whisper, soaking through the rim of the ear

our memories are pilling up

Foolish and pretty images that we see of each other

Like a sunshine that comes through the streetlight in the alley

You gave me a small dream, something I never knew

My precious

My Precious

Warm enough to erase the memories that were like a thorn

My precious

My precious

Fluttered enough to keep the memories of the past summer

The glitter on your eyes that is breaking by the refreshing wind

The memories of my innocent days come to my heart

My lost wishes that I really wanted

When I turn around and see that all my memories are gone

You held my two hands tight when I thought I would be alone

My precious

My precious

You touched my broken heart without any words

My precious

My precious

The flutters that allow me to do anything if you are with me...

My precious [Warmer than any sunshine]

My precious [More beautiful than any gem]

You touched my broken heart without any words

My precious [Cleaner than any sky]

My Precious [Clearer than any glass]

The flutters that allow me to do anything if you are with me...

My precious...

Pretending...

"The only thing I can do is pretend to be happy"

I'll just smile
I'll just laugh with everyone else
I'll just pretend...

As if  nothing was wrong

As if I never cried

As if everything was simple and perfect...

 Let's play hide-and-seek

I'll hide, no one will ever find me

I'll hide in the darkest corner of the world

I'll hide and you will never find me

And eventually I would die...

...

[And with this song I say goodbye to those precious memories
I've been such a fool
always making the same mistakes. 
This time I'll back away
this time I'll stay in the dark forever
I guess it was time to wake up from this beautiful dream filled with lies...] 


She was beautiful
always dressed in black
always protecting me...
But I couldn't handle it...
he was in so much pain...
We drifted apart...
And then I lost her...

It's so easy to trust someone

I've been a fool

And the story repeats itself

a tiny little mistake...

We're drifting apart

but this time I won't get involved

this time I'll back away...

And the only person I can trust lives a thousand miles away from me...

Sorella...

I loved you

I adored you...

Tell me

what happened to us?

Do you remember

those endless nights

holding hands

lying down

loving you

I loved you like a sister 

or maybe more than that...

I adored you...

I looked up to you...

What happened to us?

was it him?

was it me?

Was I that innocent back then?

Unable to tell the difference between the truth and the lies...

[Beautiful lies...]

Forgive me...

it was my mistake...

forgive me for speaking the truth

the truth hidden in lies

forgive me for everything

I was always so  useless...

I hope you're happy

I hope you don't hate me...

 "Perdonami, 

cara sorella..."

Perdonami... 

If you see her...

If you see her

tell her I said "hi"

Because I'm not going to make the same mistake

Because it's time to let go...

"This is my redemption"

If you see her

tell her that I love her

Tell her that I'm sorry...

[scusa me

dispiace per tutto...]

Keep on living...

Even if I'm alone

I'll keep walking

Even If I fall a thousand times

I'll keep walking

Born to fight this endless war

my heart is the battleground

my words are my swords

Even If I can't trust...

Even If I'm alone...

I'll keep walking

I'll keep fighting...

Until the day I die...

"Thats who I am"

Trust...

With an innocent smile

with a perfect life

it's so easy to trust...

Until everything backfires...

Until the innocence is thrown away...

Living with the fear of getting hurt

Living with the fear or hurting others...

It's so hard to trust someone...

"And when you do, It backfires again.."

Afraid of losing her...

These endless fights...

The story repeats itself

"The only thing I can do is back away

before I make the mistake"

Before it repeats itself...

Before I lose her again...

Prayer...

Praying in the valley of the Roses...

please God, help those in need

help those who need you...

Give us wings

to fly like birds

Give us fire

to spark our hearts

Give us darkness

so that we can shine our way through

Please, oh Please

Help those in need

help those who need you...

Please, oh Please

forgive us the sinners

Please oh Please

forgive our sins...

Let our prayers reach the stars

reach the heaven...

Thanks for everything you've given us

a place to live

Please pardon us who have commited errors throughout our lifes

Please forgive us...

Let our hearts bloom in the valley of the Roses...

Let our prayers reach the heavens

Let the Angels guide us...

Let the Roses protect us...

-Prayer-Emblem of the Roses

Past...

It seems as if it were yesterday...

Sometimes I wish everything was a dream, I could just open my eyes...

As if I could wake up in that small room with purple walls, with my desk filled with drawings,

with the sun shining through the window...

Sometimes I miss everything so much, I just wish I could just hold these memories and never let go

[It's so hard to let go of the past...]

but at the same time I wish I could forget everything and ignore the pain that comes along with these memories...

Yet these memories are so vivid...

[I would wake up and make breakfast

I would wait for my dad to drop me off to school

I would talk and laugh with my friends

I would spend lunch time in the art room with them

singing or just talking...

I would stay after school in the art room

or I would eat lunch at her house

Wednesdays and Fridays I would get out early

I would walk with my friend to the movie store until 2pm

then I would pick up my brother from school and walk home...]

But somehow, deep inside me I'm glad that everything turned out like this

[Once I got home I would eat lunch

If it was my turn I would've washed the dishes

my dad would go to sleep for a while

my mom would start dinner

I would spend the entire afternoon in front of the tv

and at 8pm my love would begin

and I would spend the night doing homework and solving the crime...

Such a simple life...]

But...

In the end I like how everything is

and if it weren't for those changes...

I would've never had the friends that I have...

I would've never meet him...

[Y con un beso y un adios

me despido de vos...]

Love...?

What Is Love?

[ a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. ]

Hay varias definiciones, varios significados, varias interpretaciones

que es el amor?

Para mi...

el amor es...

[ todo... el amor...

son aquellas conversaciones con tus amigas

son aquellas sonrisas

son aquellas lagrimas ]

Love is...

[those dreams

those hugs

those endless nights...]

and your bashful smile...

Another day...

[No soy perfecta, No soy bella, solo soy una mas...]

Aveces me pregunto, que hubiera pasado si nunca me hubiese marchado...? Would things be different

La vida continua, que mas quisiera parar el tiempo, pero eso es algo impossible...

Dia tras dia la misma rutina no te cansas?

la misma historia, las mismas mentiras, las mismas voces...

But I've lerned to love them

Apreciar cada momento...

Apreciar cada segundo...

por que nunca se sabe si manana estaras vivo

nunca se sabe si la historia continuara

The daily things (like this and that and what is what)

That keeps us all busy

Are confusing me...